Notes to Self

1. Avoid circus clowns, they have dieases
2. Mimes are okay, they can't spread their infirmities
3. Remember to bury corpse tonight
4. Delete last note for legal purposes
5. Find Waldo
6. Bring shotgun
7. Remember to skip, instead of walk to keep crazy levels up
8. Switch mom's coffee to decaf
9. Switch to Espresso when caffeine addiction fades
10. Avoid the strangers in white coats, they are not your friends
11. Disregard last note, they inject you with magical stuff
12. Scream and run around whitecoats so they'll give you magical stuff
13. Get lost at Ikea
14. Go pool-noodle-jousting at Walmart
15. Remember to TP neighbors house while their out on the weekend
16. Get TP in trees especially
17. Disregard last two notes, the other neighbors beat you to it
18. Kill other neighbors
19. Delete last note for legal purposes
20. Looking through people's stuff is a bonding experience
21. Tell people if they see shadows at night not to worry, it's only you. Bonding
22. Putting a cat int he dryer after a bath could kill it
23. It is looked down upon
24. Do it a lot
25. Remember to tell those PETA freaks that skinned alive baby seals are adorable
26. Tergiverstate with the rainbow Panda that taunts you at night
27. Look up "Tergiverstate"
28. Ignore the zebra in the room, no matter how much is watches you
29. Ignore last note
30. Shoot zebra
31. Don't let the PETA freaks read last ntoe
32. Flailing and screaming in a public place gets you funny looks
33. Do this a lot
34. Absorb the funny looks... they are your only source of love...
35. Disregard last note
36. Remember, if you ever feel alone, you can always talk to a ninja
37. Give Ninja a name
38. Everyone is a spy until proven otherwise
39. Torture spies, until proven otherwise
40. Sincerely apologies to the non-spies
41. Avoid lawsuits and/or arrest
42. Tell Alter Ego to stop telling bedtime stories to the children
43. Sincerely apologies to the children
44. The Ninja's name is Itachi
45. Stalker turns out to be Werewolf
46. Werewolf stalker is named Kevin
47. Invite all stalkers over for tea party
48. Avoid their loving stares
49. Disregard last not
50. Encourage stalkers
51. Everyone is unworthy until proven otherwise
52. Kill those who are unworthy but think they're worthy
53. Delete last note for legal purposes
54. Don't believe what the wrapper says, flammable and inflammable are the same thing
55. Always introduce yourself as roleplaying character in public
56. When unworthy are proven worthy reveal identity
57. Remember to make scene about it
58. Refuse to die alone, take many humans and nonhumans with you
59. Re-note note #57, make scene as much as possible
60. Confuse Giraffe with many oxymoron
61. Giraffes don't understand oxymoron
62. Or humor
63. The spies are watching you
64. Kick all spies into oubliette
65. Scream "THIS IS SPARTA" whilst doing the act
66. Tell alter ego she is an otiose
67. throw lite fireworks into public area
68. Note reactions
69. YAY! My favorite number!
70. Tell boss you suffer from Ergasiophobia (Fear of, or aversion to, work)
71. Everyone is an ignoramus until proven otherwise
72. When they ask what that is, scream "IGNORAMUS!"
73. Call that emotionally challenged guy a "Younker"
74. Note reaction, things may get violent, he may not know proper meaning
75. Yirn when asked to hold a baby
76. Blood of non-baptized babies gives unholy powers
77. Test this repeatedly if need be
78. Tell any rude people their heads are napiform
      Here's a list of other possible insults

• Natterjack
• Miasma
• Megapod
• They smell like defenestration
• Popinjay
• Lusas Naturae
• Limaceous
• Hicrane

79. Stop giving readers your wisdom
80. Tell sister she's a Hamadryad when she leaves the bathroom all dressed up and pretty
81. Note reaction, probably happy
82. Snicker to yourself afterwards
83. Remind therapist of Kevin the stalking Werewolf
84. Note reaction
85. Spend a night with a stranger you know in a creepy caravanserai
86. How to have a good time at church

• Go to church
• Pretend you've become possessed by demon
• Thrash
• Scream
• Flail
• Make scene
• Bite people
• Run around
• Have a wizard (reverend, minister, pasture, whatever) exorcize demon
• Make it last as long as possible

87. Sing loudly and randomly in public
88. Speak to inanimate object in public
89. Avoid sunlight
90. Always keep wooden stake with you, Edward Cullen is everywhere
91. God is always watching. God is a pervert
92. So is Santa
93. And your goldfish
94. Stage a vomit at the mall
95. Note sympathy pukers
96. Laugh maniacally whenever humanly (or inhumanly) possible
97. Remember to tell your victims "You can't spell slaughter without laughter"
98. Laugh while doing this, if you don't, the effect is ruined
99. Hex the neighbors at night
100. Don't tell Lynch Mob

Dreamland

Dreamland

I lay in a bed of wildflowers

A blanket of snow covers me

My colorful sky changes by the hour

And the golden sun warms me

The tall mushrooms shade my figure

And the morning dew kisses my skin

The air smells so pure

And I can feel the euphoria within

The red stream flows by

And the gentle breeze guides the blue spores

This world is mine

Who could ask for more?

Stars twinkle behind the clouds

Whole galaxies are in my view

There was no mist to shroud

Nothing was askew

Waterfalls rained down from the sky

Their crystal waters reshape

This world is mine

I need no escape

Silver leaves float in my sight

Their pink designs so intricate

The winds give them flight

To beauty they commit

The trees that tower

So mighty and twisting

Mixing with the water shower

To be beneath you I’m wishing

The green oceans that endlessly undulate

And mingle with the shore

Such beauty it creates

And still there is so much more

This world so wonderful

And ever so grand

It is quite delightful

This is my dreamland

Goodnight

Goodnight

I’m staring down the barrel of a loaded knife

I’m kissing day goodnight

I’m throwing my peace sign in the air

And letting my air raid siren blare

I’m leaving loose ends

And fraying ties

I’ll no longer pretend

I’m confessing my lies

I’m taking on life with a wicked grin

I’m not being suppressed again

I’m going to be living risky

I’m not going to be lost

Won’t be shootin’ back whiskey

I’m going to be my own boss

My claxon is going off

And my warning lights are flashing

Like life before my eyes

While you come down crashing

I laugh in the face of danger

And just a little bit at your failure

Because at the end you curl up and cry

And kiss your life goodbye

And even if I’m staring down the barrel of a loaded knife

I’m only kissing day goodnight

My Mind's Eye

My Mind’s Eye

Listen…

To the music

Within...

Can you hear it?

It echoes

Inside my mind

Just listen…

Don’t you realize

All these melodies

Of all the lies?

They whisper to us all

Speaking nothing to me…

Asking things of us

This wicked darkness…

Dwelling in my head

This twisted music

Filling me with dread

Coaxing my tears

Bringing upon our fears

It’s chaining me down…

Stealing me a worthy crown

This symphony so sick

We’re drawn to it

Never knowing

Never ending

The music corrupts us

Penetrating our souls

Swimming through our blood

Blowing our minds

The melodies carry us

Like boats in a flood

Like age through time

The music knows who you are

The music can see who you were

Circling down

We turn into clowns

Servants to the music

It’s twisting my mind

Mutilating my heart

It’s grinding me smooth and fine

But it makes me a ragged diamond from the start

It hurts, boiling in my soul

But I refuse to pay the Ferryman’s toll

It poisons my heart

Changing it to some warped art

This symphony

Of everlasting…

Sickening…

Threads

It’s killing us

So many of you are dead…

We’ve fallen victim to the music

We’re losing our heads

My eyes are closed

I can’t open them

In fear of change

My heart is black

I won’t fade back

My soul is dead

The music won’t return my head

My mind is disfigured

There is no cure

For my shaded mind

There is no saving me

From all these lies

From all my cut ties

We’ve all become lost

Within my Mind’s Eye

Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide

1. Keep in mind, they will rise!

One should always be prepared for a Zombie Apocalypse, you never know, it may happen, it may not. A truly prepared person would have spent their life preparing a bomb shelter, loading up on MREs, water, proper clothes, gadgets, ammo, weapons, the simple necessities of life. But we’re not all Apocalypse Nerds, so I’ll just tell you—as a “normal” person—what you should do.

First off, when the Apocalypse strikes you have to grab any tools such as hammers, chainsaws, hacksaws, screwdrivers. Etc. Etc. After you’ve collected tools that could be handled as weapons try collecting some sports equipment! Such as baseball bats, golf clubs, elbow pads and knee pads, a helmet perhaps (nothing too heavy now!), and so on and so forth.

Now that you have something to fight with lock all doors and windows and board up the house. Make sure you’ve planned an escape in case the Zombies get in!

Now, hunker down and stay quiet, ration your food! But remember: you can’t stay in one place forever.

2. If they don’t feel fear, then why should you?

Zombies are a void of emotions, but a Human is stocked to the brim with it! Humans let their fears get ahead of them and that’s how you become infected and apart of the problem. So swallow you fears and FIGHT FOR THE SURVIVAL OF MANKIND!

3. Use your head: Remove theirs.

There are many ways to stop a Zombie but the most effective way is to remove their head. If something’s brain cannot have control they can’t do anything. You can remove arms and leg but now you have an undead lump of hungry that can’t go anywhere. Just kill it! Remove its head!

4. Blades don’t need ammo.

While guns are effective and have lots of firepower, mowing everything down… things like swords and dagger and such have no need for reloading and don’t run out of ammo, and since the best way to kill a Zombie is by removing their heads I recommend you use a blade instead of a gun. But always keep some firepower on hand, just in case.

5. Ideal protection:  Tight clothes, short hair.

That’s right! The days of fashion and trend are OVER! It’s time to shed you layers into tight clothes (none baggy bottoms, tight tops, avoid normal sneakers, shoelaces on those come undone to easily, combat boots preferred), and hack that hair off! You can’t give Zombies something to hang on to! If they can grab it it’s too long!

6. Get up stairs, destroy the stairs.

A good way to take a safe break is to climb stairs, destroying them on your way up, so minor grenades and tools should be on hand. Once the stairway is gone (or at least totaled in a way to make it difficult for them) you can sit back. Getting back down is up to you.

Other safe places would be a military base, a mall, or even a hotel. Basements are a NO-NO! That’s how you get cornered and killed, or infected, and that’s just stupid. NO BASEMENTS! Attics are okay, just as long as Zombies don’t have easy access.

7. Get out of that car, get on that bike.

Vehicles are great for large groups of survivors—especially if it involves children, you’d want to keep them safe—but when you have a small amount of people go for the Motorcycles, they’re fast and you can easily attack with guns and/or  blades. So, Big Groups=Large Vehicles. Few People=Motorbikes.

8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, and keep alert!

Stealth is most important. Imagine yourself as a Ninja or an epic Assassin, because  smashing and bashing Warriors rarely survive, you need to be quick, quiet, cautious, and precautionary!

9. Nowhere is safe, just safer.

Largely populated areas are hit the hardest in Zombie Apocalypses. So many people just crammed together—there will be a lot of infected.  In times like these, your best choice is to get as far away from cities and greatly inhabited places as possible. Go to the country, to small towns with roads that lead to nowhere, these places are most likely safer and the Zombie virus might not have yet spread there. And, in the country there are our beloved rednecks. Which means there’s weaponry and ammo, even axes.

And there you have it!!!! This is your simple guide to survival. You must train yourself to be strong and to fight. Swing an axe at a tree—I don’t care, just be prepared, because Z-Day will come, and very few will survive.

LOVES!

Momento Amor

~Hiroko Hana

 

Fae Curses

The Fairy Dances

The Unicorn Prances

You are ruining all your chances

You must turn

You must spin

If you do not…

Well, it would be a sin

You must move

You must choose

Here comes the Blue Moon

You have decided

And now you dance

Though, you had not one chance

More Fae have come and still you sway

Hour by hour

Day by day

What is this curse?

What has happened here?

Is it really what you fear?

You had danced with the Fae…

And like that you shall forever stay.

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 Hi ya guys! This is an old poem of mine inspired by the curse that if you dance with a Fae you are cursed to dance from now and into death. Cute isn't it?

Momento Amor

~Hiroko Hana

Owning the Moon

Sorcha K., all of age thirteen proclaims herself a rival to Dennis Hope and Martin Juergens for ownership of the moon and other celestial masses.

Where Hope found himself a “loophole” and Jeurgens had his “ancestors document” K. is a direct descendant and has contact with Alien kind. This Alien race of conquerors apparently own most of our galactic system of Jin-34K8.

This conquering race proclaims to be the reason the puny race of Earthanoids have not been wiped clean of the universe, and if K. is denied ownership the Alien race will pass the deed of Earth to a rival race to destroy the planet or use its resources, most likely enslaving the human race.

K. claims they come in peace.

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I heart deranged people!

Momento Amor

~Hiroko Hana

The Odd Purple Growth

The Odd Purple Growth

There once was a monkey with an Odd Purple Growth on his left shoulder. That monkey’s name was Chad. Chad was very resented in his clan, even the Clan Master disliked him, and because Chad was so different and hated he was banished from the Clan Lands. Banished to the world unknown.

After banishment, Chad plunged into a deep depression not even the Lillies in the Fields of Disgustingly Cheeriness and Scary Happiness could cure.

Every single day Chad would sit in his dark cave, poking at the Odd Purple Growth that he thought was getting larger. And every single night Chad would sleep on the cold stone ground, having dreams of his old home that was no longer in his reach.

This routine went on for a long time until this one, inconvenient and unimportant Wednesday. The Odd Purple Growth was now a Large Odd Purple Growth that covered Chad’s entire shoulder and down his back somewhat.

For some odd reason The Odd Purple Growth was itchy, and it ached too, and a peculiar noise sounded from it.

Chad did not sleep for many, many days until—finally—the pain stopped. Chad Collapsed into a week-long coma.

Once Chad had awoken he saw that his Odd Purple Growth had shrunken down to its normal size. Chad exhaled with much relief and then he heard a little squeaky noise, much like a noise a rubber ducky would make.

Chad looked down to see a small Odd Purple Monkey, snoozing away on his torso.

It didn’t take Chad long to realize that this little monkey had an Odd Brown Growth on her right shoulder.

Chad smiled for the first time in a long time. The sight of this living tumor warmed Chad’s heart, melting the icicles of depression.

Chad had named this tumor Linda. And when Linda woke up she squealed with happiness at her new name. It’s certainly better than “Odd Purple Growth.”

Chad then had to force himself out of what was left of his depression, for Linda needed to be taken care of, she was only a baby tumor, you know.

Chad raised her well and always reminded the purple little Tumor-Monkey that being different was good and not to judge others.

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So In the end there was a moral to this deranged story. Being different is good, and judging a book by it's cover is wrong. So Sora, you can't say I have no morals! MWAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

Momento Amor

~Hiroko Hana

Panda-monium

Panda-monium

The field stretched for miles as a sea of black and white, shifting in every direction at once. The black and white was quite loud and quite obnoxious, not roaring like a normal ocean, but like hundreds of thousands of bears.

In fact, it was a million or so Panda Bears.

They shouted to each other. Roaring and growling in confusion. They were lost… or found? They didn’t know, weren’t sure, didn’t understand, couldn’t comprehend, not quite positive of anything!

They spun in circles, rolled on their backs, stood on their hind legs, did somersaults and cartwheels, not sure if they should go somewhere.

They’re eyes crossed, went walleyed, spun about, not knowing where to look.

They sniffed the air, the grass, themselves, other Pandas, trying to see if there was anything they were supposed to find.

There were so many questions abound, so many things asked in their peculiar language. But not a single answer was given.

What had happened?

What was wrong?

What are they supposed to do, say, hear, think?

Well I don’t know! There is a reason they call it pandemonium you know!

Mixed Nursery Rhymes

Hickory Dickory Dock

The Mouse Ran Up the Clock

The Clock Got Mad and Ate Him Up

Hickory Dickory Dock

London’s Breeches falling down!
Falling down, falling down,
London’s Breeches falling down,
Little Fainted Ladies!

Baa baa black sheep, have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir, four bags full.
One for Italy, and one for Rome,
One for Germany and one for Home.

Baa baa black sheep have you any wool?

No sir, no sir, no more wool.

Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary

How does your Graveyard grow?

With Thumb Screw and Torture Devices

And Guillotines all in a row