Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide

1. Keep in mind, they will rise!

One should always be prepared for a Zombie Apocalypse, you never know, it may happen, it may not. A truly prepared person would have spent their life preparing a bomb shelter, loading up on MREs, water, proper clothes, gadgets, ammo, weapons, the simple necessities of life. But we’re not all Apocalypse Nerds, so I’ll just tell you—as a “normal” person—what you should do.

First off, when the Apocalypse strikes you have to grab any tools such as hammers, chainsaws, hacksaws, screwdrivers. Etc. Etc. After you’ve collected tools that could be handled as weapons try collecting some sports equipment! Such as baseball bats, golf clubs, elbow pads and knee pads, a helmet perhaps (nothing too heavy now!), and so on and so forth.

Now that you have something to fight with lock all doors and windows and board up the house. Make sure you’ve planned an escape in case the Zombies get in!

Now, hunker down and stay quiet, ration your food! But remember: you can’t stay in one place forever.

2. If they don’t feel fear, then why should you?

Zombies are a void of emotions, but a Human is stocked to the brim with it! Humans let their fears get ahead of them and that’s how you become infected and apart of the problem. So swallow you fears and FIGHT FOR THE SURVIVAL OF MANKIND!

3. Use your head: Remove theirs.

There are many ways to stop a Zombie but the most effective way is to remove their head. If something’s brain cannot have control they can’t do anything. You can remove arms and leg but now you have an undead lump of hungry that can’t go anywhere. Just kill it! Remove its head!

4. Blades don’t need ammo.

While guns are effective and have lots of firepower, mowing everything down… things like swords and dagger and such have no need for reloading and don’t run out of ammo, and since the best way to kill a Zombie is by removing their heads I recommend you use a blade instead of a gun. But always keep some firepower on hand, just in case.

5. Ideal protection:  Tight clothes, short hair.

That’s right! The days of fashion and trend are OVER! It’s time to shed you layers into tight clothes (none baggy bottoms, tight tops, avoid normal sneakers, shoelaces on those come undone to easily, combat boots preferred), and hack that hair off! You can’t give Zombies something to hang on to! If they can grab it it’s too long!

6. Get up stairs, destroy the stairs.

A good way to take a safe break is to climb stairs, destroying them on your way up, so minor grenades and tools should be on hand. Once the stairway is gone (or at least totaled in a way to make it difficult for them) you can sit back. Getting back down is up to you.

Other safe places would be a military base, a mall, or even a hotel. Basements are a NO-NO! That’s how you get cornered and killed, or infected, and that’s just stupid. NO BASEMENTS! Attics are okay, just as long as Zombies don’t have easy access.

7. Get out of that car, get on that bike.

Vehicles are great for large groups of survivors—especially if it involves children, you’d want to keep them safe—but when you have a small amount of people go for the Motorcycles, they’re fast and you can easily attack with guns and/or  blades. So, Big Groups=Large Vehicles. Few People=Motorbikes.

8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, and keep alert!

Stealth is most important. Imagine yourself as a Ninja or an epic Assassin, because  smashing and bashing Warriors rarely survive, you need to be quick, quiet, cautious, and precautionary!

9. Nowhere is safe, just safer.

Largely populated areas are hit the hardest in Zombie Apocalypses. So many people just crammed together—there will be a lot of infected.  In times like these, your best choice is to get as far away from cities and greatly inhabited places as possible. Go to the country, to small towns with roads that lead to nowhere, these places are most likely safer and the Zombie virus might not have yet spread there. And, in the country there are our beloved rednecks. Which means there’s weaponry and ammo, even axes.

And there you have it!!!! This is your simple guide to survival. You must train yourself to be strong and to fight. Swing an axe at a tree—I don’t care, just be prepared, because Z-Day will come, and very few will survive.

LOVES!

Momento Amor

~Hiroko Hana

 

Fae Curses

The Fairy Dances

The Unicorn Prances

You are ruining all your chances

You must turn

You must spin

If you do not…

Well, it would be a sin

You must move

You must choose

Here comes the Blue Moon

You have decided

And now you dance

Though, you had not one chance

More Fae have come and still you sway

Hour by hour

Day by day

What is this curse?

What has happened here?

Is it really what you fear?

You had danced with the Fae…

And like that you shall forever stay.

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 Hi ya guys! This is an old poem of mine inspired by the curse that if you dance with a Fae you are cursed to dance from now and into death. Cute isn't it?

Momento Amor

~Hiroko Hana

Owning the Moon

Sorcha K., all of age thirteen proclaims herself a rival to Dennis Hope and Martin Juergens for ownership of the moon and other celestial masses.

Where Hope found himself a “loophole” and Jeurgens had his “ancestors document” K. is a direct descendant and has contact with Alien kind. This Alien race of conquerors apparently own most of our galactic system of Jin-34K8.

This conquering race proclaims to be the reason the puny race of Earthanoids have not been wiped clean of the universe, and if K. is denied ownership the Alien race will pass the deed of Earth to a rival race to destroy the planet or use its resources, most likely enslaving the human race.

K. claims they come in peace.

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I heart deranged people!

Momento Amor

~Hiroko Hana

The Odd Purple Growth

The Odd Purple Growth

There once was a monkey with an Odd Purple Growth on his left shoulder. That monkey’s name was Chad. Chad was very resented in his clan, even the Clan Master disliked him, and because Chad was so different and hated he was banished from the Clan Lands. Banished to the world unknown.

After banishment, Chad plunged into a deep depression not even the Lillies in the Fields of Disgustingly Cheeriness and Scary Happiness could cure.

Every single day Chad would sit in his dark cave, poking at the Odd Purple Growth that he thought was getting larger. And every single night Chad would sleep on the cold stone ground, having dreams of his old home that was no longer in his reach.

This routine went on for a long time until this one, inconvenient and unimportant Wednesday. The Odd Purple Growth was now a Large Odd Purple Growth that covered Chad’s entire shoulder and down his back somewhat.

For some odd reason The Odd Purple Growth was itchy, and it ached too, and a peculiar noise sounded from it.

Chad did not sleep for many, many days until—finally—the pain stopped. Chad Collapsed into a week-long coma.

Once Chad had awoken he saw that his Odd Purple Growth had shrunken down to its normal size. Chad exhaled with much relief and then he heard a little squeaky noise, much like a noise a rubber ducky would make.

Chad looked down to see a small Odd Purple Monkey, snoozing away on his torso.

It didn’t take Chad long to realize that this little monkey had an Odd Brown Growth on her right shoulder.

Chad smiled for the first time in a long time. The sight of this living tumor warmed Chad’s heart, melting the icicles of depression.

Chad had named this tumor Linda. And when Linda woke up she squealed with happiness at her new name. It’s certainly better than “Odd Purple Growth.”

Chad then had to force himself out of what was left of his depression, for Linda needed to be taken care of, she was only a baby tumor, you know.

Chad raised her well and always reminded the purple little Tumor-Monkey that being different was good and not to judge others.

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So In the end there was a moral to this deranged story. Being different is good, and judging a book by it's cover is wrong. So Sora, you can't say I have no morals! MWAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

Momento Amor

~Hiroko Hana

Panda-monium

Panda-monium

The field stretched for miles as a sea of black and white, shifting in every direction at once. The black and white was quite loud and quite obnoxious, not roaring like a normal ocean, but like hundreds of thousands of bears.

In fact, it was a million or so Panda Bears.

They shouted to each other. Roaring and growling in confusion. They were lost… or found? They didn’t know, weren’t sure, didn’t understand, couldn’t comprehend, not quite positive of anything!

They spun in circles, rolled on their backs, stood on their hind legs, did somersaults and cartwheels, not sure if they should go somewhere.

They’re eyes crossed, went walleyed, spun about, not knowing where to look.

They sniffed the air, the grass, themselves, other Pandas, trying to see if there was anything they were supposed to find.

There were so many questions abound, so many things asked in their peculiar language. But not a single answer was given.

What had happened?

What was wrong?

What are they supposed to do, say, hear, think?

Well I don’t know! There is a reason they call it pandemonium you know!

Mixed Nursery Rhymes

Hickory Dickory Dock

The Mouse Ran Up the Clock

The Clock Got Mad and Ate Him Up

Hickory Dickory Dock

London’s Breeches falling down!
Falling down, falling down,
London’s Breeches falling down,
Little Fainted Ladies!

Baa baa black sheep, have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir, four bags full.
One for Italy, and one for Rome,
One for Germany and one for Home.

Baa baa black sheep have you any wool?

No sir, no sir, no more wool.

Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary

How does your Graveyard grow?

With Thumb Screw and Torture Devices

And Guillotines all in a row

Birds of Aud

Birds of Aud

Audrey smiled as the sun seeped through the window, coaxing her into wakefulness. Her hazel eyes fluttered open and peered about her room as her mind began to reel. It was as if she were dreaming. She couldn’t remember where she was last but now it was like she had opened her eyes to a fairytale.

She rose from her bed in her flowing silk dress. Her auburn hair done up in a fanciful Victorian ponytail, topped with a delicate tiara. She stepped onto the old hardwood floors in her ballet slippers. The room she had taken up inhabitants was old. The walls peeled their stained beige paint; the wood floors were damaged and molded nearest to the walls. Cobwebs stretched in every corner. But the furniture was most antique. The wardrobe, vanity, even the bed’s head board and base board was carved as gold vines; blooming intricate flowers that still sparkled in their years of abuse.

This was all so amazing but what had caught her eye most was the doorknob. It looked as if it were made of jagged, shimmering sapphire. When Audrey clasped it she hissed in pain and pulled away. The crimson blood dripped from the sapphire doorknob. The single drop echoed into nowhere and suddenly the sapphire became ruby.

“Welcome domum Aud. Nos te desiderari!” Audrey heard a voice like a chorus of young children. Audrey knew exactly what they spoke; “Welcome home Aud. We missed you!”

A smile spread wide on the teenagers face as the door swung open. The hallway before her was just as old and faded as her room, but beautiful nonetheless. The sun bled through every large window, vines grew up the walls here and there, mingling with the webbing. The cracks in the ceiling made pictures like the Nazca Lines. Aud could see men and their game racing across, dragons slaying their knights, beasts hunting their prey.

It was breath taking.

Aud came upon a door that had been thrown off its hinges. Around the door frame were gnarly claw marks. Beyond the door was a stairwell leading down into darkness. She descended a few steps, the darkness below caused goosebumps to rise up on her skin and she made haste to the closest door. She stumbled out into this lower level and crashed into something solid. She peered up at a man.

Not a man… he seemed to be frozen in place like a mannequin. But this was not a mannequin—No. Aud caught a glimpse of the wind up key stuck in his back and immediately knew he was a doll. He wore a dress shirt and pants, and a fancy vest with his little bowler hat.

Aud circled the doll and began to wind up the key. Aud could hear gears turn within him. When the key was as far as it could go the doll began to move in such a lifelike way. The Clockwork man turned and tipped his bowler hat as he bowed.

“Mi’lady,” he said, his elastic lips planting a soft kiss on her hand. “Follow me,” he said, offering his arm, Aud took it with grace and the man began to escort her to grand doors, with the same golden vines as her bed. They swung open without a creak to reveal and shimmering ballroom.

Stringed puppets hang from the ceiling, dancing in the air, playing their instruments and singing songs. Other Clockwork people dance in unison, they’re movements sharp and just as the others. The man whom Aud clung to took her hand and the other Clockworks made way for them. 

Aud felt as if she had dance forever, but she knew it would stop eventually. Every Clockwork shut down at once. Their spinning keys creaking to a stop. The puppets hung limp and lifeless. Aud felt dead beat and trailed away from the ballroom with panting breath, letting the Clockworks have their rest.

It wasn’t long before Aud slipped, her petal-soft dress billowing as she fell to the ground. Adjusting her askew tiara Aud saw she had slipped on cards, but they were not playing cards for antics such as poker. They were Tarot Cards.

There were only three, an incomplete set. When Aud lifted them to study them they were all upside down. There was the card of Heat, Dryness, and Fire. Their pictures of a Phoenix, a Scrawny Lion, and a Dragon. The rim around the pictures were half black and half white. The white sides faced Aud, and she could read their words, unlike the black side which was upside down.

Regression. An Enemy. Instability. The Tarot of Heat read.

Danger. Excess. Solitude. The Tarot of Dryness read.

Anarchy. Tyranny. Rigidity. The Tarot of Fire read.

Aud didn’t like these words, but for some reason when she tried to read the words on the black rim they seemed blurry. Aud tossed them aside, uninterested. Then she saw something that was so peculiar, so strange, but so normal. A plain suitcase.

The only thing that set this suitcase apart from others was the words carved into it. “In tenebris dormit.” It appeared to be the same language the echoing voice spoke but she didn’t understand it. That’s what made it most intriguing.

She gracefully sat by it, her spindly finger tracing across the chicken scratch words, finding their way to the lock which came undone with stubbornness that made Aud even more curious. When she unlatched the final lock she sat a moment. Letting anticipation sink in.

She was about to open it herself when it flew open angrily. A blast of dark light pierced the ceiling, causing the debris to rain down. Soaring out with such force were a million paper blackbirds. Rooks, Crows, Magpies, and Ravens cawed furiously. Some swooped down and pecked at Aud, damaging her beautiful face.

She screamed and stood to run but her legs failed her, for she was too slow. A stringed puppet dressed like a court jester jumped out of the suitcase and grabbed her ankle, cackling maniacally. Aud screamed and kicked, freeing herself. She began to sprint away but was soon enough intercepted by the Clockworks. But they didn’t have those smiling faces, they’re clothes were no longer formal and fanciful. They were tattered and blood splattered. They looked as if they were zombies. And they were coming after Aud.

She scream once again and fled for the stairwell that she had feared. She fled as fast as she could, taking the stair steps two at a time, cautiously trying not to slip in her ballet slippers.

The farther she went, the darker it got. Aud could hear the horrid nightmares above descending quickly, gaining on her.

It was soon enough pitch black and Aud could only make her way down by clutching the handrails. She could feel the stairs were no longer solid, it felt like sludge, gripping her feet and trying to drag her down, but the more she moved the harder it was to sink.

Roars, laughter, hisses, crashes, and more sounded above. It seemed so close Aud began to scream again. Would these stairs end? Would the madness end?!

Then she touch bottom, she didn’t realize until a moment of running. But when she stopped, every bit of noise that crowded her ears and mind went silent. The only thing that was audible was Aud’s breathing and pounding heartbeat.

She waited in pitch blackness for what had seemed like forever. Waited, waited, and waited. It all ended when Madness took her.

 *  *  *

Audrey Romero, age seventeen, diagnosed with schizophrenia and the titled murderer of the St. Theresa Insane Asylum Massacre was found on the Asylum’s basement level with five more victims. As expected to be she was completely delusional and aggressive.

Police officers found carved into her arm with a razor blade (unknown how she retrieved the blade) the words “In tenebris dormit,” which in Latin means “Darkness Sleeps Within.”

So far there are no known survivors and as of now Audrey Romero is in a solid holding facility until execution date.

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I had written this story for a writing contest and I was so proud of myself and my short story that I couldn't keep it to myself and I had let to let all 81 of you guys read it (I checked my stats! Don't think I don't know you're there!). I hope you enjoyed it!

Momento Amor

~Hiroko Hana

This is a Story About a Bunny Named Carl

Carl the Bunny

Carl was a bunny who had lots of friends. One day Carl was hopping alongside Peter Cotton-tail, the Easter bunny. Then, out of nowhere a golf club came down and swatted Peter away, Carl hopped towards the direction Peter flew and found his limp body by a stream, the stream was being stained with his blood. Carl shrugged and hopped on, leaving Peter’s body for the bears and what not.

Carl now met with his friend Snow White. She was a bunny that was allergic to pollen so she was always sneezing, and during a sneezing fit a baseball bat was swung and it flung her across the forest. Carl shrugged, guessing she was dead in a puddle of her own blood and hopped on. Then Carl came across Rabi, his other friend. Rabi had an eye-patch over his right eye and was kind of a rusty red rabbit that always had a hammer with him. Rabi was trying to tell Carl something important and urgent when a golf club whacked Rabi away. Rabi hit a tree and slid down it, leaving a splatter of blood on the tree. Carl shrugged and hopped on. 

Now three friends were dead, bodies soaking in blood, what was happening? Sadly, Carl didn’t care, for bunnies lived and died, so why should Carl care? Carl stopped by some wild onions and ate them, and joining him was his friend Thumper. Thumper was a good friend who loved to hit the ground with his hind leg. He started to thump the ground to get Carl’s attention to tell him something important, but Carl ignored it and continued to eat his onion. Then, Thumper was hit with a baseball bat and flew into the pond behind Carl. Carl looked behind him and shrugged, thinking either Thumper died because of being smacked by a wooden baseball bat or he drowned. Carl hopped on.

Carl now was oblivious to the human that lurked behind him, for he had better things to do, like, bothering the old turtle who lived in the tree, or the old owl who lived under a bush, is that mixed up? Anyway. on Carls way to the old turtle’s home he realized that the other two friend’s, Calico and Ally, that had joined him a minute ago had disappeared. He shrugged and hopped on.

Then, to Carls surprise, a man in a blue and white striped night gown and matching hat marched forward in bunny slippers toward Carl, holding a shotgun, for it was loaded and ready to shoot. Carl shrugged and hopped under a bush where a scared old owl hid. The owl tried to sacrifice Carl to the strange man in the night gown but ended up tripping out of the bush and being shot to death. Carl shrugged and hopped on sneakily, for the strange man did not see Carl’s gettaway, and Carl left the old owl for the bears and what not. Carl slipped through some thorn bushes and into a field where deer were being shot down mercilessly. Carl shrugged and hopped on, for he’d not been seen by any shooter. 

Carl reached the end of the field where the strange man in pajamas spotted Carl and shot him down. Now Carl’s soul was flying upwards to heaven. Carl reached a golden gate where a man in a security outfit stood reading an Angels Gone Wild magazine. The guard saw Carl and hid the magazine behind his back.“Welcome to heaven!” the guard said loudly but in a bored tone, “you may enter if you answer one question,” Carl nodded, ready to get it over with, “a train leaves Chicago at 200 miles an hour, another train leaves Mississippi at 250 miles an hour, when and where will these two trains meet?” the guard asked with an evil grin on his face. Carl was confused, for he did not know the answer. The clouds beneath Carl’s feet opened up and he plummeted towards Earth where another hole opened up in the ground and he plummeted to the core of Earth where a person with horns, a barbed tail, and a red trident waited with a boiling pot, for Carl screamed in terror, knowing this is his eternal punishment for being such a stupid jerk.

The End!

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Ha, ha! If it's not good cut me some slack! I wrote it when I was nine. One of my favorites though.

Momento Amor

~Hiroko Hana

The Zombie Point of View

Zombies, peculiar creatures, they groan, they moan, and they stumble around. But is that really all to them? Just eating flesh and making a mess? I don't think so, I think we should look at these misunderstood creatures with some logic!
First off I want to know how Zombies get around with their entrails hanging out. I mean, organs are so tightly packed, if they fall out, eventually the lungs will sag, and then the Zombies will just be a blob of flesh, organs, and strange, unidentifiable liquids.

Second: I don't think they're as stupid as people make them out to be. Zombies act on "Survival Instincts." You have them, I have them, we all have them. Zombies eat because they need to live, Zombies infect others for the growth of society. I think if a Zombie were full it would stop eating, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't risk having they're stomach pop like a water balloon and all the digestive acids running through their bodies. Because believe it or not, Zombies feel pain! And they do in fact die!

Third: "...The only way to kill a Zombie is to attack the brain..." Everything dies when you attack the brain, if you sever anybody's head they would fall over limp, that's like the only way to kill a vampire is to stab it in the heart with a stake.Anything will die if you stab it in the heart! Get real people!

Fourth: People underestimate Zombies in general, from speed to strength and so on. Zombies are definitely fast, unless they did have an injured leg, the reason they keep going is too survive, an injured jungle cat would keep going, because it had to survive.
And just because Zombies are Zombies doesn't mean they suddenly have the strength of a three year old. No. If the Zombie was strong as a normal Human then they're going to be just as strong.
And I am pretty sure Zombies have intelligence, they have to reason, to think on how to catch their prey. Let's have some common sense guys!

Need I go on...???


But then again, if Zombies were as thought through they wouldn't be as fun. Am I right or am I right?
That's it for now.



Momento Amor
~Hiroko Hana