Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide

1. Keep in mind, they will rise!

One should always be prepared for a Zombie Apocalypse, you never know, it may happen, it may not. A truly prepared person would have spent their life preparing a bomb shelter, loading up on MREs, water, proper clothes, gadgets, ammo, weapons, the simple necessities of life. But we’re not all Apocalypse Nerds, so I’ll just tell you—as a “normal” person—what you should do.

First off, when the Apocalypse strikes you have to grab any tools such as hammers, chainsaws, hacksaws, screwdrivers. Etc. Etc. After you’ve collected tools that could be handled as weapons try collecting some sports equipment! Such as baseball bats, golf clubs, elbow pads and knee pads, a helmet perhaps (nothing too heavy now!), and so on and so forth.

Now that you have something to fight with lock all doors and windows and board up the house. Make sure you’ve planned an escape in case the Zombies get in!

Now, hunker down and stay quiet, ration your food! But remember: you can’t stay in one place forever.

2. If they don’t feel fear, then why should you?

Zombies are a void of emotions, but a Human is stocked to the brim with it! Humans let their fears get ahead of them and that’s how you become infected and apart of the problem. So swallow you fears and FIGHT FOR THE SURVIVAL OF MANKIND!

3. Use your head: Remove theirs.

There are many ways to stop a Zombie but the most effective way is to remove their head. If something’s brain cannot have control they can’t do anything. You can remove arms and leg but now you have an undead lump of hungry that can’t go anywhere. Just kill it! Remove its head!

4. Blades don’t need ammo.

While guns are effective and have lots of firepower, mowing everything down… things like swords and dagger and such have no need for reloading and don’t run out of ammo, and since the best way to kill a Zombie is by removing their heads I recommend you use a blade instead of a gun. But always keep some firepower on hand, just in case.

5. Ideal protection:  Tight clothes, short hair.

That’s right! The days of fashion and trend are OVER! It’s time to shed you layers into tight clothes (none baggy bottoms, tight tops, avoid normal sneakers, shoelaces on those come undone to easily, combat boots preferred), and hack that hair off! You can’t give Zombies something to hang on to! If they can grab it it’s too long!

6. Get up stairs, destroy the stairs.

A good way to take a safe break is to climb stairs, destroying them on your way up, so minor grenades and tools should be on hand. Once the stairway is gone (or at least totaled in a way to make it difficult for them) you can sit back. Getting back down is up to you.

Other safe places would be a military base, a mall, or even a hotel. Basements are a NO-NO! That’s how you get cornered and killed, or infected, and that’s just stupid. NO BASEMENTS! Attics are okay, just as long as Zombies don’t have easy access.

7. Get out of that car, get on that bike.

Vehicles are great for large groups of survivors—especially if it involves children, you’d want to keep them safe—but when you have a small amount of people go for the Motorcycles, they’re fast and you can easily attack with guns and/or  blades. So, Big Groups=Large Vehicles. Few People=Motorbikes.

8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, and keep alert!

Stealth is most important. Imagine yourself as a Ninja or an epic Assassin, because  smashing and bashing Warriors rarely survive, you need to be quick, quiet, cautious, and precautionary!

9. Nowhere is safe, just safer.

Largely populated areas are hit the hardest in Zombie Apocalypses. So many people just crammed together—there will be a lot of infected.  In times like these, your best choice is to get as far away from cities and greatly inhabited places as possible. Go to the country, to small towns with roads that lead to nowhere, these places are most likely safer and the Zombie virus might not have yet spread there. And, in the country there are our beloved rednecks. Which means there’s weaponry and ammo, even axes.

And there you have it!!!! This is your simple guide to survival. You must train yourself to be strong and to fight. Swing an axe at a tree—I don’t care, just be prepared, because Z-Day will come, and very few will survive.

LOVES!

Momento Amor

~Hiroko Hana